cup a joe

Well, it's been a while since I posted.  I got distracted...stuff was going on...so yeah...

A lot has been happening over the past several days...it seems like the Lord is up to something.  More on that later.

I said that I wanted to read more and write more this year.  The writing has fallen off a bit, but I have been keeping up with the reading.  Here are two books that I have recently finished.

Fathered By God: Learning what your father could never teach you - John Eldredge
Typical John Eldredge book in the vein of Wild at Heart.  John writes about the six stages a man goes through to become what God has created him to be.  This book seems like it would make an excellent follow up to Wild at Heart (and I think our men's group may do that later this spring.)  The only issue that I have with it is that it gets somewhat stereotypical.  Here's the problem - I really get the six stages and I fully agree with him that most men need to go through them (and deal with the issues that they present).  However, do we all need to almost die climbing a mountain to fully be a man.  John seems to live a life that most guys only dream about.  I live in the prairies.  The biggest mountain near us is the land fill....it's just not the same (although I could see possibly dying if I were to climb it, but for totally different reasons!)   All in all, a decent book.

Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration of Oneness in Marriage - Tim Gardner
Tim Gardner taught one of the CECL sessions that I was a part of last fall.  Both Cindy and I were very impressed with him, so much so that we bought his book.  I thoroughly enjoyed this book - the only trouble that I had is figuring out who to recommend it to.  The book is written to married couples, and it would be a valuable resource to them.  As I started to read this it hit me that engaged couples would benefit from it.  Then I started to think of some single people...

Tim approaches sex (and marriage) through the concept of oneness ("and the two shall become one").  Sex (and marriage) is designed to be just that - where a man and women come together and become one - thereby demonstrating the image of God.  This is a deep concept that is difficult at times to get your head around.  However, it is very biblical concept - and one that I fully believe would lead to healthier marriages, as well as healthier relationship between men and women - perhaps we would begin to understand each other better and embrace the differences between us instead of allowing them to be points of conflicts.  Excellent book - and I highly recommend it.

There are two other books that I have finished since the first of the year, but it is getting late - more later.

Mark Riddle re-posts something that he wrote 10 years ago on his blog today.  Here is a snippet:

My friends suggest we are all in deeper than we think. We perpetuate all this self-indulgence consumer crap in most of what we do. We ask "what makes our church unique to this city?" as our Ikea-congregations are trying to figure out which local "building-based group of people who call themselves Christians" best represents me as a person, we are well on our way to helping folks categorize themselves away into superficial oblivion. ...I drive a $50,000 Range Rover because I like the idea of being perceived as an outdoorsman, heaven forbid, I drive a mini-van... I own a $375 North Face Gortex though I only ski once or twice a year, it promotes the idea that I'm an outdoorsman... though I never camp... that's what I think of myself.... I go to ________ Church because it will make me a better businessman, and my kids the homecoming queen and football captain. Jesus is a great enhancement into my almost complete life.

You can read the rest of it here.  He asks the question: "Are we pastors or prostitutes?"  I realize that this is a touche subject for some, but I can tell you that his article is something that has been resonating within me for the last few years.  Pastoring has lost its glamor for me.  Years ago, Todd Hunter wrote an article challenging pastors to stop being purveyors of religious goods and services.  Quite frankly, that is what the church feels like it has become.  I know that we have lost people because we do not offer the newest and coolest programs.  I know that we have lost people because the beautiful people of DeKalb don't come to our church.  I know we have lost people because there are better networking opportunities at other churches.  This is not speculation on my part - this is actually what people have told me.  And the challenge is what to do about it.
 
The temptation is to change things.  Get bigger and better programs.  Get rid of (or hide) the difficult people.  Create a marketing campaign that focuses on certain social classes.  But at what point are we sacrificing the Gospel for the crowd?  At what point are we pushing aside the "least of these" for an image of success?  I think the problem comes with the idea that we believe God is made in our image instead of the other way around.  We look at God like He is OnStar.  You call him and he gives you what you need.  Be it directions, gas, dinner reservations, or to help you when you wreak you life.  God serves us.  The concept of us serving God is foreign to most of the people in my culture.  And if God serves us, then the church's main role must be to serve me as well.  Keeping in line with that, if the church doesn't serve me well, then I need to get another one (the church has failed me).  Think I'm being cynical?  Then why is the divorce rate the same for the church as it is for the rest of the world?  I think there might be a correlation there.

This is what makes the job so tiring - and this is also where my greatest temptation lies.  You see, Mark is right in what he said.  The easy way is to be purveyors of religious goods and services.  As Marshal Field once said, "give the lady what she wants."  If I do that I will be successful - I will have a big church - I will be important.  That is the temptation.  But my boss is not my board or my congregation.  They are not the one that I need to make happy.  Last I checked, my calling came from Jesus, not my church.  He is the one that I need to make happy.  He is the one that I am serving.  And sometimes what he wants me to do makes my church happy, and sometimes it does not.  The challenge for me is remembering that he is in charge.

Years ago, I used to watch the show The West Wing.  One of the episodes ended like this.  "I serve at the pleasure of the President."  It choked me up then and it chokes me up now.  Not because I'm a political junkie or have have visions of grandeur, but because it is what my job is about today.  I serve at the pleasure of the King.  I serve at the pleasure of Jesus.  It's not my job to please people or the make them happy.  It is to do what Jesus says to do.  Sometimes that will make me popular and sometimes it won't.  When I remember who it is that I'm serving the job gets easier and much more enjoyable.  When I remember who it is that I'm serving I'm not longer just a purveyor of religious goods and services.  I'm doing what I was called to do.

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I had yesterday off.  We went to Cindy's Grandmother's 86th birthday party yesterday and needed to be in Gurnee by noon which meant there was no chance of me preaching.  Jeff preached - and from what I can tell, the church is still standing.  It's always feels odd when I get a Sunday off.  I never know what to do with myself and my timing for the next week always feels off.


Yesterday was the one year anniversary of what became one of the worst seasons of my life.  There were moments during it all of it that I did not think that we would survive.  It caused me to completely shutdown.  I stopped reading.  I stopped writing.  I stopped leading.  I simply lived on cruise control. 

It has been a year.  That season is over.  It is time to begin anew.

Effective church planters must understand these broad social functions of religious ritual.  However, their primary concern should be to understand ritual as it relates to folk Muslims' perspective of the spirit realm.  In this sense, ritual is "the heart of religious behavior...'the meat which goes on the bones of...beliefs'".  To understand a people's religious ritual is to comprehend what they really believe. (page 178 - italics mine)

 I got thinking about these religious rituals. We may not have the same types of "religious ritual" in our culture as with folk Muslims (although, I have seen and heard of some of this in several contexts here in the states), but we do have ritual's.  It got me thinking about the things that I do, the rituals in my life and how they correspond to my stated Christian beliefs.  Where are the disconnects in my life?  Where am I hypocritical?  I think that last sentence is the litmus test for us.  It's not what we say we believe, it is actions - the rituals of our lives, that truly show our faith..

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It’s New Years which means that once again, I am “resolving” to blog more. But this year it is going to be different. No more “resolutions”. Who actually does “resolutions” anyways? Cindy says that “resolutions” are the things that you stop doing by February. So, I “resolve” not to “resolve” this year. Instead, I’m going to set some goals.

I once heard Dee Dukes say (ok – I heard him three times say this – I’m a little slow at times) that if you want to achieve a goal, you need to write it down and share it with others. I spent some time this morning writing these down in my fancy new Moleskine. But no one other than me sees my Moleskine (and sometimes I can’t even read my own writing!), so I want to put it in ink (electrons?) here and share it with whomever still reads this thing.

1) I want to get healthier this year. Not just go on a diet, but actually start getting healthier. A couple of years ago, Cindy and I did this Dr Oz thing. We cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup, all soda and all white enriched grains (white flour, white rice) and started to eat more whole grains and organic stuff. Amazingly, we lost a lot of weight and started to actually feel better. We fell off that wagon after about nine months and we both feel like it is time to get back on. I also want to start working out again, but I’m not sure how. I’m having some feet and knee problems, so running is out and I’m too poor (ok- cheep) to join a gym or the “Y”. I think I’m going to start waking – although I’m not sure how or when (yes, I still know how to walk – but as the song goes, “baby its cold outside.”) I’m thinking about waling around the worship center – although I need to figure out the distance on that (x laps = 1 mile) – perhaps that is a future math / science project for the kids (isn’t Home Schooling grand?) But it’s not just eating and weight, I want to start taking better care of myself. I’ve been feeling things more now that I’m in my 40’s and it’s starting to get me nervous. I want to be around for a bit longer and I would like to actually enjoy it. I’m not sure what that looks like or what I need to do differently, but I want to spend some time this year and figure it out.

2) I want to read more. I used to be an avid reader. I still have my moments, but I have noticed over the past couple of years that I am reading less and less. I really believe that this has had an adverse effect on me. I am not getting into the word as much as I used to. I am not engaging my brain in theological thought as much as I used to. And I am not exposing myself to good writing as much as I used to. All this could help to explain why I have felt like I’m having vision issues. So, I want to read more – a few books a week. Of course, to do this I will need to restructure a good chunk of my life (hey, this is where that healthy thing comes in!). I’m going to try to keep track of what I am reading here, as well as give some thoughts about each book (somewhat of an accountability thing).

3) I want to write more. I love to write - although looking at this blog, you would never believe it. I do my best thinking while I am writing. I actually feel better after I write! I have a dream of one day actually writing a book. Of course, to do this I need to write something (interesting how that works – being a writer means that I have to write something). So, I want to commit to increased journaling and blogging. Once again, this blog should be a good barometer of that.

4) My fourth goal is all about Cindy and my marriage and relationship with her. I really don’t want to go into detail here other then to say I want to be a better husband and have a better marriage (not that it is currently bad, I just want it to be better – I’m selfish that way.) I written about it in my journal and shared it with my wife. That should be enough.

Those are my personal goals for 2010. I will have some church goals later, but for now this seems like a good start.

Here’s hoping for a good 2010!