I'm Back!

Once again, I'm back....perhaps I'll post more this summer (don't I always promise that??)

Recap from past two months....there were good days and bad days....I was happy and mad.....I was in a good mood and depressed....That about recaps the whole thing.

This has been an interesting weekend. We have been busy, with getting thing put together in the house and with having people over. So here is a list of what I have learned this weekend:

1) Large gazebo's that appear to be made well and entirely out of steel are REALLY heavy and REALLY not made as well as would appear.

We bought this gazebo a few weeks ago from Target to replace the rusted out one that the previous homeowners had. We got a really good deal on it because it was a floor sample. So some guy from Target took it apart, and they gave it to use as a pile of meal, some cloth and screws, and no instructions. When I mentioned to the kid who loaded it in my car that I was a little nervous about putting it together without any instructions he told me not to worry, the guy who puts the stuff together for Target is "not too bright", so I shouldn't have any problems. Well, I guess he is slightly brighter then I (he used the instructions) because I ended up breaking it by trying to stand it up after assembling it on its side. The welds that held in the screws quickly failed on one corner. Let me just say, thank you for J.B. Weld...the duct tape of glues. I don't know if it will last through the winter....but did I mention that we got a good deal on it?

2) Above ground swimming pool maintenance is an extremely heartbreaking and expensive hobby.

So, when we bought the house, we inherited a swimming pool from the previous owners. We thought that t would be a lot of fun to get it open for this weekend. We took the cover off on Friday and shocked the pool. My friend Steve came over to help me (because he has had pool before.) So we get the pool filter set up and shocked on Friday....things are looking good. Saturday morning I get up and discover that the ladder they left behind needs a deck to work. The previous owners took out the deck and were planning to replace it (I think) but never did. So, off to the pool store and $150 later, I have a pool ladder. Steve comes over to check on things and mentions that I should consider getting a new filter system perhaps next year. The one have is really not that good. So Sunday morning comes and the filter blows the fuses in the house. Guess what...my filter pump blows up. So, $200 later, I now own a new filter pump with a fairly new filter (thanks Steve). We get the pool up and running only to discover that my out-take nozzle and some clamps are bad...so it will be off to the pool store later today for more stuff. So far I have spent over $350 on this thing, with more to come later today. The funny thing (keeping in line with the previous post) is that I put the ladder together wrong, requiring me to saw off part of the legs (I had the instructions this time, but missed the picture on how it was supposed to go into the pool. Perhaps I'm really not that bright.) We discovered my error last night. More J.B. Weld later today. By the way, I have yet to get in the pool.

3) Preaching the entirety and practicality of Kingdom Theology in one Sunday is a huge mistake.

Sunday was by far the longest sermon I have done in a while (over 1:15 in length.) I think I lost the entire church. Ugh.

4) No matter how long I do this pastor thing, or this life thing, I'll never be prepared for the emotional after effects of people.

We had people here all weekend. Friday and Saturday people were here helping us set up our pool. Sunday was church and "Ed-fest" (more on that later), Monday was the Memorial Day open-house. I really do not do well with large crowds. We had a lot of people here on Monday, and I felt like I need to make sure everyone was doing OK. I found myself going from person to person, never really sitting down. It was exhausting. Time to speak in code...We have people who are having marital and life issues, and it is had to deal with some of those...I really don't have anything that I can add to it. We have people who are having job and health issues...once again I really don't know what to say. All I can do is point them to God and pray....and I'm not sure if that is what they really want. Stacey decided to move to N.J. this week and left yesterday....it was rather abrupt and really affected a lot of people (me being one of them). Emotions were all over the place...and she could not understand why people acted the way they did....abrupt decisions cause reactions like that. We also have a growing group of people who are having issues relating to one another. Not that they hate each other, more to the fact that they really like one another, but do not know what do about it or how to act around one another. It is like they are trying to dance the Tango without actually touching one another (For those of you trying to guess, it is more then one couple). This is extremely exhausting to watch from the outside.


5) One of these days I need to figure out that there is not much I can do about the people I really care for who just don't get "it".

Perhaps this ties into the above category, but there are some people who I really care for...some family, some friends, who just don't get "it". It can be several different things, God, Jesus, life, relationships, whatever. They just don't get it. They keep on repeating the same stuff over and over again. The problem is that I really care for these people....love these people, and I really want them to get it and start seeing fruit in their lives. It frustrates me, it depresses me, and it really puts me in a funk. They tend to be the main focus (after my wife and kids) of what my prayers are. I see little things happen, and I get hopeful, I get excited, but then they fall back into the same routines. None of the "it's" are major things, thing's that the world would notice. They are the things that good friends notice. And they probably don’t even know that I get affected.

Perhaps this is where God is with us. Wondering when we are going to get "it." Perhaps this is how he feels, knowing what would be good for us, knowing what would bring us fulfillment, but us never getting it, never trusting him, never truly being fulfilled. Perhaps this is just a lesson for me, to learn how he feels abut me, about my failures, about where I really put my trust. Perhaps it is truly I who doesn’t get "it".

More later....

Wow...I've posted

IMG_0080
Originally uploaded by jhholda.

For all those who have been bugging me (and you know who you are)...I have finally posted.

By the way, I have opened up a flickr account. Check out our trip to the flower show.

Re-Thinking Church

I want to start a discussion on re-thinking what church is....what is should look like. Before we start, read this:

(Don't worry, I'll wait........I'll just sit here and play solitaire.......)

Link

(black nine on red ten....Oh good, your back.)


So, this really got me thinking. We have a very interesting fellowship when it comes to schedules. Although we have some 9-5er's in our group, we also have a bunch of people with conflicting schedules. We have firemen, nurses, students (with families (eg. parents) in other towns), food service and retail employees, as well as a whole bunch of people whose job's make evenings and weekends a challenge. So, how do these people become apart of the fellowship? We have some people who only show up on Sunday's once a month or so (due to work).

Traditionally, they might be considered back sliders, yet I know they are dedicated Christians, and they are dedicated to this fellowship. So, how do we minister to this group and what do we do to allow them to feel (as well as be) active members of the community.

The knee jerk response is podcasts, but I think that is more of a tool then a solution. There is more to church then just my sermon. Church is supposed to be about relationship...relationship to Jesus, and relationship to each other (remember the creed, Love God, Love People). So what do we do?

This is where the conversation needs to begin. I know that there are a bunch of you out there (I can see you on the map to the right). Some of you who read this have jobs or lives that make Sunday morning or some weeknight difficult. What could make a community.

I think Jordon's idea's are a good start. Perhaps we should start Podcasting everything. Perhaps the website needs to be more of a forum and less of a brochure. Perhaps we need to figure out how to make the church more accessible for people to come to for quiet time with God, or to meet others. But how should it look? What would you use? What would you want?

Jack Bauer School of Ministry

Found this on Brian Eberly's blog while surfing....just too funny (and somewhat true)....

Because of my love for youth ministry, and my appreciation for Jack Bauer saving America from all the terrorist out to get us, I post the following from Mark Helsel's blog.

Top 10 things that I have learned about ministry from the show 24!

10. Thoroughly background check the people that you hire especially the executive pastor. How many moles can one place hire, tighten up CTU!

9. Have the latest smart phone. You never know when you will have to send skematics of the new sanctuary to the local zoning board or a teens picture to the police.

8. Computer geeks are essential. Every church needs an Edgar (R.I.P) to stop the meltdown of nuclear reactors or make sure the church newsletter gets e-mailed to the congregation.

7. If you ever need to get teenagers to listen to you at youth group just scream "Federal Agent, let me see your hands!"

6. Breaking protocol is a good thing. It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

5. Bad things happen when the main guys daughter is around. See Kim Bauer!

4. Every ministry needs a socially awkward employee or volunteer like Chloe. This person will typically be in the financial department or nursery.

3. Head pastors are like Presidents you either get a great one like President Palmer or a toal weiner like President Logan.

2. If you need information there is no better way than torture. Can I get an amen! Don't you wish you had a Jack Bauer around when someone comes up to you and says "Some people are saying...but I can't tell you who they are!"

1. How can things go so wrong in just 24 hours? Is Jack on a perpetual middle school overnighter?

Updated Blogroll

I've added some names to my blogroll for the first time in quite a while. This is a very interesting list of writers. One thing that you may notice as you go through it is that not all of these writers agree with one another. Many of them do not necessarily agree with me either. So why do I read these? Because it helps me to better understand what I believe. I enjoy reading other perspectives because they force me to rethink what I believe, to better define and sometimes to study why I feel the way I do. Sometimes, they even force me to change my mind.

One the issues that I have with many pastors today is that they do not read anything from outside of their circle of influence. They seem to be afraid that if they read something that is theologically different from where they are, they might get contaminated or something (God forbid, they may start babbling in tongues or something like that). The more you limit your reading, the more limiting your views are and the more you tend to think you have all the answers. Conversations tend to begin with an "us vs. them" mentality....that is never healthy in the body of Christ.

So go ahead, click on some of these links. Some of them are scholarly, some of them are babble, and some of them are just plain silly. Some are colleagues, some are family, some are friends and some I wish were friends. So read along with me and try to keep an open mind. Know that you may get offended every now and then and know what you believe. You may end up being better for it.

Global Warming

Finally, a view on Global Warming that makes sense to me. It's from NPR....it has to be true...

In the beginning...

For all the controversy regarding the first chapter of Genesis, there is one thing that all of the Christian traditions can agree with. All creation began with God. We have a God who is a creator. Surprisingly, we as Christians seem to forget that. We forget that God is in creation. Oh yes, we remember that when it comes time to fight the local school board regarding evolution. But we forget that when it comes to any type of the arts. We are either against it or we are trying to find way's to "Christianize" it. Usually when that happens, we create a cheap imitation. Funny part is that when you dig into the bible, you see that creation comes from God, and imitation comes from Satan. What's up with that?

I bring that you because of two interesting articles that are out there. First, it seems that Christianity has finally found "American Idol". I guess it has become big enough that we need to make a copy of it. That copy will be called Gifted. Our friends at TBN have created a talent search that is looking for the best in Christian talent.

"It is our goal to wrap God's message -His love- in acceptance, and in a way that blends seamlessly into "pop" culture while still upholding the values we, as Christians, value most. When presented with this gift, wrapped up tightly in respect, we hope that today's youth will open the trendy packaging to release God's love - and realize in doing so that we are all truly "Gifted.""

Imitation all wrapped up in the honorable goal of evangelism. What kind of God are we showing the world? Is it the God that created the universe or it a god that was created by the universe? There is no originality there. Do you ever wonder why most of the world makes fun of us, especially in the evangelical church? We seem to remember that God redeems, but we forgot that God creates. So we go around redeeming things (aka...making them "safe for the whole family") but never truly create anything.

That has not always been the case. One day, take a trip to the Art Institute in Chicago. It is one of my favorite places in all of Chicago. Take a walk up the stairs to the second floor of the main building. On that floor you will see what Christians can truly create. Granted, most of it was created centuries ago. But amazingly, they last through all of time. I doubt Gifted (or most of CCM) will.

Or at Christmas time, walk up the street and go to Symphony Hall. Every year, they perform Handel's Messiah. God working through man to create something great. Or go to some of the neighborhoods of Chicago (or better yet, Europe) and walk through the great old churches. Most of them are works of art...in their architecture, as well as what is in their windows or on their walls. Compare that to one of the Mega-Churches today. There is a church in the near Southwest Side of Chicago called St Paul. You can see it in the background of the movie "The Untouchables". It is a landmark because they built the entire building without nails. Inside and out. Think about what the architects had to do to figure that one out. In contrast, today I get mail every few months for "Church's in a box". Get some land, send the company some money, and they will build you one of several pre-fab church's to fit your every need. Am I the only one who sees a problem with that?

This all came up because of an article written by Erik Lokkesome. In it he describes ten things that we can do to truly redeem the arts. It's an interesting article that challenges us to move away from protesting the arts, to engaging the arts, with our time, money, support, and creativity. It will really get you thinking.

What if, as the church we supported the arts? What if we trusted God to work through us to create something great? In art, in music, in dance, in drama. What if, we used his creative power for evangelism, instead of trying to re-wrap something of the world? What if it was different? What would happen? How would the world respond? How would the church respond? Art was always used by the church to help the world understand the Gospel. Instead of pre-packaging to spread the gospel, why don't we just create? What if, in everything that we do, we remember that it is a form of worship to God? Would we be satisfied with what we were producing?

Worship and Bono

With spontaneous eloquence, he said being a worship leader must be "the highest of all art forms, to worship and call people into the presence of God."

Nuff said....

General sense of yuck

My nose is stuffed, my head is sore, my joints hurt. I hate being sick. Ugh.......

To blog or not to blog

So last night, Chris came over to talk about our new web design for the church. The conversation took many twists and turns. Over the course of the conversation, we talked about the church hosting blogs and about the church linking to blogs that members of the community write. Chris originally brought up concerns on how some blogs (just like how some people) may get a little out of control and perhaps be offensive. This is a natural question that I know many churches are dealing with. I have heard stories of young pastors (usually in an associate role) getting rebuked or fired for stating things on their blog that might be offensive to others (especially if they question some of the prevailing thoughts of the church.) Personally I'm a person who loves the discussion...and I would love to see more people entering into the discussion on how to form this community of faith within DeKalb County. Being the senior pastor of this place, I really am not worrying about getting fired for speaking my thoughts, so I was hoping that we could create an atmosphere where open discussion could flourish. Then Cindy brought up a point...

Cindy and I both started blogging about three years ago. We both started personal blogs and a blog for the Chruch Plant that never happened (Northern Illinois Vineyard). For me, I looked at this as a chance to communicate...the blogs were going to be a central part of the church plant...a place for discussion to occur. I envisioned them to become a place where questions could be asked and answered, where the teachings of the church did not end on Sunday afternoon, but they continued through the blogs....and that the blogs would not be a one way conversation, but a true sounding post for the entire community. Didn't get what I preached on Sunday? Have additional questions or concerns? Bring it up on the blog. Let's wrestle with them as a community.

Unfortunately, that vision never truly came to be. Instead, our blogs became a place where we would put our thoughts. Perhaps this was foolish, but we really thought no one was savvy enough to really find them. Well, we were wrong.

For both Cindy and I, the transition in taking over the church was difficult. We were trained on how to plant a church, not how to turn one around. The first year was extremely difficult for us. The church was divided....there was the old church, then there was the new church. The two really did not like to talk. Cindy and I were caught in the middle. Many people would be surprised at what people will say to their pastor. To do this job is difficult. We lay our lives out for this church day in and day out (not just Sunday.) We have gone without so that the church can have. Both Cindy and I at one time or another have neglected our family and each other for the church. Even to this day, I fight with feelings of guilt when I attempt to take care of my family over the church (our vacation was difficult for me....it took me time to get to the place where I did not feel guilty for taking time off.) Most pastors feel similar to the way I do. So when criticism comes, we tend to take it personally. When people come to us and tell us how much they hate worship, the message, the coffee, kids church, youth, the way we do ministry, the lack of the Holy Spirit, the excess of the Holy Spirit, the way we take an offering, the way the small groups look, the color of the walls, the design of the stage, the sound of the speakers, the lack of landscaping around the church, the break, the cookies in the welcome packet, the color of my shirt, our weight, the taste of the communion bread, the games at the Christmas party, the food at the Easter meal, the design of the bulletin, the type of car that I drive, or the shoes that I wear, I tend to take it personally....really personally. Especially if it is given to us in a flippant manor. It is one thing to come to me in love and as a friend and bring me an idea (eg. Perhaps we should get some new urinal deodorizers...let me go get them to improve the smell) That I can take. It is another thing to just come and criticize (I don't know what the problem is, but the Holy Spirit was not in worship at all....I was grieving the entire time.) Throw my kids into the middle of the entire thing, and I will really get pissed (you know sweetie, if you don't start to exercising, you will get fat like your parents). All of these comments have been spoken over the past three years. Some of them really hurt.

So early on, we ranted on our blogs. We never used names, and tended to speak in generalities...but we ranted. Most of these rants came back to bite us in the butt. People got offended at us for being real. Some complained, some left. For a time, Cindy shut her blog down. Most of her old posts were erased.

So that leads me back to last night....we talked about the church blog, and Cindy had some concerns. How real can we be? How real can others be? If we can't be real with one another on how we feel, is the community blog worth while, or are we just "playing church".

I know there are a group of you out there that read this. Some of you may be upset at what I wrote in this post. But here are the questions that I have for you: We say we want to be real with each other, but do you mean it? Can you deal with someone being real in a blog? Can you deal with raw emotions? With frustrations, anger, disappointment, and people just trying to get something off their chest? Do we really want a place for this in our community, or not? I challenge you to think about it....and then comment publicly on it.