welcome to the thoughts and ramblings of joe holda. please watch your step, it could get messy around here.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Six Months
I have been told for several years now that I am supposed to write and I have been given many prophetic words to that effect. I've never really written much, so if I am supposed to be this great author I guess I need to start somewhere.
I'm going to try to write more. I think I'm going to move away from posting other's thoughts and start writing some of my own. At this point, I really don't know what that means. I do know that if I'm supposed to write, I need to get into the habit of actually writing. Perhaps if I do that my writing might improve!
Friday, March 02, 2007
Friday, 9:28pm
Cindy is in Puerto Rico. Emily is with her as well. They has been there since Tuesday, and won't be back till next Tuesday. I hate it when she is gone. I miss her a lot. I tend not to sleep well when she is gone and this week is no exception. Last night I stayed up watching bad TV (Die Hard part XXVII)....what a waste. I've talked to her everyday that she has been gone and she is doing well. They have done a lot of servant evangelism and had some chances to do some personal ministry. She said that they had a healing last night....pretty cool. They are supposed to be spending tomorrow in prophetic ministry teams...should be fun. I can't wait to get the report.
The city this week bought a lot of properties in the downtown area. They are going to demolish the buildings on them and hope someone buys them for redevelopment. Our building is slated to be redeveloped in the grand scheme of things. It was my hope to buy it one day, but now I wonder if that will ever happen. We are late on rent....and my gut now says that the property value of the area is about to increase. I'm not sure what the future holds for us as a church. I know for certain that we will ride this out, that the church will survive even if it means that we need to be in a different location or form. I'm OK with that. I just wish I had a better leadership structure within the church to survive this.
We've started the membership classes. I met with the small group leaders and will be going to the small groups starting next Wednesday. I'm sensing that the leadership structure of the church is going to be driven by the small group leaders. I've always thought that we would do some kind of hybrid of the Vineyard Central model....perhaps we are going to look more like them then I first anticipated.
Cindy and I are talking about starting Alpha up again. Some of our videos are missing at the church. I know that they have new versions of the videos (a shorter version) but I wonder if they are truly new versions or if they are just the old version re-edited (if there is anyone out there who knows, please let me know). I really don't want to teach this live....but perhaps that is what I need to do. We wanted to do it in a small group format....I'm not sure how live teaching will work....especially with the discussions afterwards.....perhaps I'll have to tweak it a bit.
I've spent most of this week doing school with the kids and loading songs on my iPod. Almost have 18 gigs loaded and I know I have more stuff somewhere. Ryan gave me a hard time about getting the 80 gig version. He said that I would never fill it. Almost to 18 gigs so far and no video on the thing. Gee, I hope 80 gig was enough....I am such a geek.
One final thought, Kathy O is going in for surgery on Wednesday. They found cancer in her thyroid. The doctors think they got to it early enough, but cancer is still cancer. Pray for her. This is the second thyroid issue we have had at the church since Christmas. Kinda odd considering that there are only 100 of us. Please remember her. If you are around the building on Wednesday morning at 7:00am, show up for prayer. Kathy will be there and we will pray for her before she goes to the hospital.
Enough for tonight....there's got to be a bad movie on TV somewhere...
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Autumn - in search of a desktop
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Ash Wednesday Labyrinth
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Last few days
Well, I got most of my reading done in the ER, so I figured that I would listen to my VLI intensive during the surgery, then get to the church in the afternoon, watch the rest of the intensive with everyone else and then work on my sermon tonight. Well, 9:00 turned to 11:00, which then turned to noon. They finally came to take him around 1:00....off to the waiting room. They were supposed to call me once he went into surgery. Having issues with the epidural, he did not start surgery till close to 3:00, out at 4:00, in recovery, and finally to his room for 5:00.
I ended up listening to all of the intensive and starting some of my sermon in the waiting room. It's 9:15 at night and I have finally finished it (here in my office). I'm not sure how good it will be, I don't feel like I gave it the time I wanted to. It's nights like this when I know it is all about Jesus and not about me. My prayer tonight will be "Holy Spirit HELP!". The beautiful thing is that He always does.
I'm starting to learn about trusting God. Today's intensive really spoke to that, but I've been hearing it from God a lot. When I first started thinking about ministry so many years ago I was always worried that I wouldn't be a good enough speaker or charismatic enough (both spiritually and socially). When I was doing my internship I quickly learned that when ever I depended on me I tended to fail. I've discovered that in reality I am not a good enough speaker, I am not charismatic enough, I'm not a very good leader, and my gathering skills aren't all that great. I've learned that I can not trust in me. And amazingly once I stop depending on myself, God comes and consistently provides. For the past two months the sermons that I have spoken are completely different then the sermons that I wrote. God has been able to overcome my weakness, ignorance and poor oratory skills to say what he wants to say. I have learned that for me, it can't just be lip service....I have no other option then to trust God.
I say this simply because that is where I am with my parents. I am at a loss on why things have happened as they have. I sat with my dad today and he looked terrible. Arthritis has caused him to look deformed. His heart has issues. His mind is lost. He looked at me this morning and said (in a dementia induced babble) that he knows I am not his son. He said it repeatedly. He said that he wanted to call the FBI to have them take me away. I know it's babble, but still...
I looked at him and wondered why? Why is this happening to both of my parents. I feel so weak and unprepared. But yet I know that I am not in control. That God is. That there is a reason for this, even though I may never know it. I also know that because he is in control, and because he loves me, he will take care on me. I am his son. I am not a bastard. I am not an orphan. I am my Father's son. That is all I really need.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
What's the mission?
To be a Community of Hope that passionately pursues the
We are a Missional Community. Not just a place where we “go to church”, but a community that acts as the Church to the society around us, acting as Christ’s ambassador to our neighbors. Not just doing evangelism, but acting as missionaries – living in the world but not being of the world, seeking to incarnate the values of Jesus in all we say and do so that we can demonstrate in love a counter-culture (life in the Kingdom of God) to the society we are apart of.
We are a Community of Hope. The foundation of our community is in the hope we have in the Reign and Rule of God, our hope in the Kingdom. As such, we are a community that is to be a witness to the gospel and the in-breaking reign of God, striving to be an instrument, agent and sign of that reign. We point to the Kingdom, knowing that it will bring shalom to the world – wholeness, peace, justice and joy – once it comes in its fullness.
H.O.P.E.
H - Honoring God through Worship: Worship is our priority. We worship God out of our alliance to him. The Hebrew word for “worship” denotes the physical act of falling on one’s face on the ground in homage to one’s ruler. As members of the
O – Opening the Gates and Setting the Captives Free: As a witness to the Kingdom, we are called to be an instrument of the in-breaking reign of the
P – Being a People of Prayer: Being a community that walks with Christ implies that of a community hungry for intimacy with Christ. Our sole existence is dependent upon Christ. Because of that, the rhythms and lifestyle of the community, both corporately and individually, are intricately dependent on prayer. We pray by ourselves. We pray as a community. We pray together even when we are apart. We pray using modern techniques. We pray following ancient traditions. We are a community that prays.
E – Equipping and Empowering the Saints: We reject the concept of separation of clergy and laity and instead embrace the concept of the “priesthood of all believers”. We are a community of ministers. All believers are called to be ministers to the world around them. Because of this we believe that the church is a place not to receive ministry, but instead a place to be equipped to do ministry. Pastoral staff is there not to minister to the members, but instead to equip them so that all can minister. So when we gather corporately, we do not ask “Who will minister to my needs?” Instead we ask “Whose needs can I minister to?”
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
The Missional Journey
It always seems like when this group gets together, I get in trouble. Not from them and not because they cause trouble (it has been a long time since we got kicked out of Bakers Square for throwing pie, but I digress). No, I take heat from other people within the church because I talk to them more then I talk to the people who are complaining (hmmmm, I wonder if there is something to that, but once again, I digress) So, back to my story....
We got together and I told a story. I started to think about the times in my life when I felt like I walking totally in the will of God. Then it hit me. I was in collage. I was working with the TEC retreat program within the Catholic Youth Office in Chicago. Now it had nothing to do with TEC, it had nothing to do with the CYO, what it had to do was with the people I was working with. For about a seven year period a group of us did ministry with a passion. We were working with the kids through TEC, but it went beyond that. We were working together, whatever one of us needed, we all did. We played music at each others churches, we prayed together, we ate together, some of us even married each other. Amazingly, very few of us lived near each other. We were scattered all over Chicagoland. We all had different jobs or went to different Universities. But somehow, our lives were always intertwined. And it was more then a friendship. It was all about God. Our lives were intertwined around each other and around Christ. When we got together we joked and laughed, but we always were ready for whatever God was wanting to do. And we usually did it. It was a powerful time of my life. We preached the gospel (even in a Catholic setting) and we saw lives changed.
That memory affected me this week. Cindy and I received a prophetic word from John Paul Jackson back in 2001. It went something like this: "Leadership, leadership, leadership, stop being reluctant and follow me. Leadership, leadership, leadership. The giftings and callings of the Lord are irrevocable. I will restore the ministry of your youth so that the mockers and the scoffers will be quieted. I will give you gifts so that you will know and that they will know that I am God. Leadership, leadership, leadership." (Or something like that.) We always looked at that word as a "go" word, that we were being restored and we were about to get sent. Looking back, both were the case. The one part of the word that has always confused Cindy and I was the part about the ministry of our youth. I was not saved in my youth....she was a punk rocker in her youth. And then on Monday afternoon it hit me. TEC. Not that we would be doing the retreat again, but that we would be active in a community again like that one. It caused me to shutter and almost cry. It has been a long time since we did that. I did not realize how much I missed that community.
So I pulled together the people that I am closest with here. Jeff, Theresa, Pete and of course my wife. I would have loved Alice to be there, but it was late, and Josiah needed to be in bed. I told them a very brief version of the above story and then asked them what kind of church did they want to be a part of. We went on for about two hours. I really don't know what this will look like when we get there, but for the first time since we moved back to Illinois, I know we are on the road. I am really excited.
I have been blogging for four years now. I'm hoping to document the journey right here. It is my prayer that there are more then five of us on this journey. It is my prayer that most of the church joins us, leaving the idea of belonging to a church and instead becoming the church. It is time to become missional.
Oh yeah, it has been a long time since I was in contact with any of those people from my youth. Dave, Gabe, Keith, Dan, Sue, Anita, Cathlene and Andrea. If any of you are out there and happen to come across this, shoot me an e-mail. We should get together sometime over at "Jim and Pete's" for pizza and some good memories! :)
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Small Groups Revisited
In this model small groups have a tremendous importance within the church. It is the place where you take the people who are coming on Sunday morning and plug them in. Getting them in the small group is fruitful in two ways. First, they get discipled better in a small group environment, and second, you see a greater buy in to the church. You move people from just casual attenders to tithe giving, children church volunteering members. That's the theory, and that is just what every pastor in the world wants. People who in love with and are plugged into their church. Most of us have been told over and over again about how important this model is and how we NEED it in our church. All successful churches have strong small group ministries. We must also have a strong small group ministry to be a successful church.
Needless to say, if I judge our church by that model we would be considered a failure. Now it's not that I don't want small groups. It's not that I have not encouraged the church to join them. It's not that I'm not willing to invest in them. It just seems that most of the people that we have are not interested in them. They come to church, they do their thing and an additional night is a hassle. What's a pastor to do. I've read the books, I've taken the classes, I've listened to the tapes and yet we only have three small groups. It can get really depressing. That is until I came to this conclusion: this is a great model, assuming that you have people who want to be plugged in and that you have a Sunday service that regularly generates new people who are hungry for relationships and discipleship. Unfortunately, that is not us.
So Pete and I started talking about the small groups and about how we should take the three that we have now and make them more missional. Remember, missional community...that was the thing that I wanted to be a part of when I came here four years ago...that is the thing that we have not done. So if we could only get our small groups to think missionally, all of our problems would be solved, right?
Well, not really. The model that we are so used to doing is not a missional model. It is a Sunday School model. It's just an over glorified bible study. No, what we need to do is not just get our small group leaders to think misionally, we need to make our small groups missional. So, here's the thought...
What if we planted small groups the way we planted churches. So we look at our community - Northern DeKalb County - and we mapped it out. We asked the question, where would a good place to have a small group. Let's say for example, we focus on Genoa. So, we find someone who is willing to lead that group. They do not have to live in the area (although it would help), they would just have to commit to lead the group. The leader could start praying about the area, perhaps going up there and connecting with some people there (you know, got to some restaurants, stores, whatever....talk to people). Then we go up there as a church. Perhaps we do some servant evangelism up there, try to stir something up. Tell the people we are planing on starting a group up there and see what happens. We only need three or four people to be interested to start a group (and if one of them would be willing to host, all the better.) So the group starts first, and then the people start coming to Sunday morning. The group becomes the focus (since that is where they were introduced to the church.) And since a small group can be less intimidating, they invite their friends to the group....and so on , and so on. Kinda far fetched? How do you think we are going to plant the new church in San Juan?
I'm not sure if this will work or not, but I'm going to give it a shot. What's the worse that can happen? No one responds? Oh well, at least we tried to stir something up. Who knows, maybe the small group becomes a church one day. Or is the small group supposed to be the church today?
That's a thought for another day...
Friday, February 02, 2007
Da Bears
It's not just the city of Chicago that loves the Bears.The Super Bowl Formula wholeheartedly embraces them, too.The formula I unveiled in January 1990 uses a variety of regular-season statistics to predict Super Bowl winners. At the time it was created, those numbers would produce the right answer for 20 of the 23 Super Bowls that had been played.
Thank you Tim Cowlishaw of the Dallas Morning News. Some one outside of Chicago believes in these guys. I finally feel vindicated!
100th Post
If I lift your name up high
Will you draw me to your side
I just can't make it one more night
Without your kiss
I wait still, Lord come and fill
This emptiness is more then I can stand
I lift my eyes, my voice to the skies
Return me to my first love once again
Lord, I fall down on my knees
Only you can rescue me
I find that I am so in need
Wrap me in your Presence
I wait still, Lord come and fill
This emptiness is more then I can stand
I lift my eyes, my voice to the skies
Return me to my first love once again
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Links Updates
Five Streams of the Emerging Church
Saturday, January 20, 2007
What if we do nothing....
"So, what happens if we do nothing? If we simply sit in the knowledge that we are in Christ with some thought that whatever God wants to happen will somehow mysteriously happen just because HE wants it to? My answer is, very little. Very little will happen in us that will lead to any kind of real transformation into the Image of Christ. Whatever faith or strength we had would relatively soon fade, become washed-out and colorless. There are more analogies than I know that you could lay over this thing - the muscles would "grow" weaker, smaller and eventually would be useless. The fire would burn for a while but then would "grow" smaller, colder and eventually all the fuel would burn up or all the oxygen would disappear and the fire would go out. However you want to look at it, it's not good."
Friday, January 19, 2007
Church Growth
With that said, I have been thinking a lot lately about growth. Even though it may seem like I'm contradicting myself, we need to grow as a church. We are struggling. And I know that growth is not the end all solution, but we really need some more leaders in this place. The pool of people that we have that has either the ability, potential or willingness to lead is small. We have been focusing over the past month or so on community, but I'm getting convicted that we might spend so much time on loving each other that we will forget about loving everyone else!
I think that one of the callings of this church was that we are to be a Missional Community. Over the past four years I'm not sure that we have been either missional or a community. I have also felt that we are supposed to be different somehow. Yesterday, at the Vineyard area meeting, one of the pastors who had been on a sabbatical for the past six months made an interesting observation. He had visited several different churches in his area and around the country during his time off. He said that it did not matter what the denomination or tradition he was visiting, they all fell into one of three categories. They were either liturgical (like a Lutheran church he visited), they followed the Willow Creek model (a song lead by a group of singers, a skit, then a topical message) or they did 30 minutes of worship followed by a message (the only difference being where the announcements were placed). He said there was nothing original, it had all become homogeneous.
That is the issue that I am dealing with today. For as cool and hip as we think we are, we are just like tradition three, with the addition of a coffee break (ooooh....doesn't that just scream "hip"). All the models, all the programs, all the books speak about the same thing. How to evangelize is how to grow the church. But if the product is all the same, are we not just developing a consumer base that is just shopping for what makes them feel better, or what sounds better. Where is the faith in that? Are we not just spending more time "evangelizing" the church hopper instead of actually going after the lost? How do we become the church that Jesus has envisioned for us to be without selling out to the 10 easy steps to become big and successful? How do we become a Missional Church not just in word, but in action?
More later...
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Out of Africa
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Worldometers
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Links
I always liked Scooby Do as a kid. The creator of the show passed away yesterday. Somewhat odd that it happened so soon after the death of Joseph Barbera.
BCS
Monday, January 08, 2007
The telephone is ringing.....
I guess I'm just tired.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Links
New Year
This is going to be a good year, there is so much going on right now, and I am feeling very optimistic. Things are changing at the church, we are tweaking things, we are moving things, we are changing out methodology. Finally, it feels like we are going to do the things that we were called to do three years ago. I'm hoping to talk about some of this in future posts, because I really need to work out some of these ideas...stuff on community and what it means, stuff on alt.worship and prayer, stuff on church....you know, stuff.
Enough of my babbling....Happy New Year.....here's to the end of 2006 and a better 2007.