cup a joe

Two difficult weeks in a row.  Two Sundays, back to back, when I begin to question why we are doing this.  Two Sunday's when the attendance is barely 20.  The tithe is down...way down.  We are back in the red.  I've got leaders speaking in code.  I've got people explaining to me that "god" is telling them that they need to do their own thing and that thing does not include church. I've got bickering, nit picking and complaining.  The church is bleeding and I'm not sure I know how to stop it.

Why oh why does God choose this Sunday to teach me about perseverance?  Months ago I planned this summer series.  It was going to be nice and light.  James - how difficult can that be?  Everything is going on around me and I have to preach on this:

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
(James 5:7-11)

Cute - right?  I wish I could say that I planned this - but no - this was a God thing (that is the problem with a book series - you never know what is going to be relevant and what isn't.) 

So, what to do.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt.  I did a ministry time with preserving through the difficult times and trusting God as the focus and thought "wow, I really need prayer for this!"  But there was no one to pray.

I remember an old Dylan song - "Pressing on".  That's my motto for now.  But I'm tired and I need help.  More later.....