cup a joe

So last night, Chris came over to talk about our new web design for the church. The conversation took many twists and turns. Over the course of the conversation, we talked about the church hosting blogs and about the church linking to blogs that members of the community write. Chris originally brought up concerns on how some blogs (just like how some people) may get a little out of control and perhaps be offensive. This is a natural question that I know many churches are dealing with. I have heard stories of young pastors (usually in an associate role) getting rebuked or fired for stating things on their blog that might be offensive to others (especially if they question some of the prevailing thoughts of the church.) Personally I'm a person who loves the discussion...and I would love to see more people entering into the discussion on how to form this community of faith within DeKalb County. Being the senior pastor of this place, I really am not worrying about getting fired for speaking my thoughts, so I was hoping that we could create an atmosphere where open discussion could flourish. Then Cindy brought up a point...

Cindy and I both started blogging about three years ago. We both started personal blogs and a blog for the Chruch Plant that never happened (Northern Illinois Vineyard). For me, I looked at this as a chance to communicate...the blogs were going to be a central part of the church plant...a place for discussion to occur. I envisioned them to become a place where questions could be asked and answered, where the teachings of the church did not end on Sunday afternoon, but they continued through the blogs....and that the blogs would not be a one way conversation, but a true sounding post for the entire community. Didn't get what I preached on Sunday? Have additional questions or concerns? Bring it up on the blog. Let's wrestle with them as a community.

Unfortunately, that vision never truly came to be. Instead, our blogs became a place where we would put our thoughts. Perhaps this was foolish, but we really thought no one was savvy enough to really find them. Well, we were wrong.

For both Cindy and I, the transition in taking over the church was difficult. We were trained on how to plant a church, not how to turn one around. The first year was extremely difficult for us. The church was divided....there was the old church, then there was the new church. The two really did not like to talk. Cindy and I were caught in the middle. Many people would be surprised at what people will say to their pastor. To do this job is difficult. We lay our lives out for this church day in and day out (not just Sunday.) We have gone without so that the church can have. Both Cindy and I at one time or another have neglected our family and each other for the church. Even to this day, I fight with feelings of guilt when I attempt to take care of my family over the church (our vacation was difficult for me....it took me time to get to the place where I did not feel guilty for taking time off.) Most pastors feel similar to the way I do. So when criticism comes, we tend to take it personally. When people come to us and tell us how much they hate worship, the message, the coffee, kids church, youth, the way we do ministry, the lack of the Holy Spirit, the excess of the Holy Spirit, the way we take an offering, the way the small groups look, the color of the walls, the design of the stage, the sound of the speakers, the lack of landscaping around the church, the break, the cookies in the welcome packet, the color of my shirt, our weight, the taste of the communion bread, the games at the Christmas party, the food at the Easter meal, the design of the bulletin, the type of car that I drive, or the shoes that I wear, I tend to take it personally....really personally. Especially if it is given to us in a flippant manor. It is one thing to come to me in love and as a friend and bring me an idea (eg. Perhaps we should get some new urinal deodorizers...let me go get them to improve the smell) That I can take. It is another thing to just come and criticize (I don't know what the problem is, but the Holy Spirit was not in worship at all....I was grieving the entire time.) Throw my kids into the middle of the entire thing, and I will really get pissed (you know sweetie, if you don't start to exercising, you will get fat like your parents). All of these comments have been spoken over the past three years. Some of them really hurt.

So early on, we ranted on our blogs. We never used names, and tended to speak in generalities...but we ranted. Most of these rants came back to bite us in the butt. People got offended at us for being real. Some complained, some left. For a time, Cindy shut her blog down. Most of her old posts were erased.

So that leads me back to last night....we talked about the church blog, and Cindy had some concerns. How real can we be? How real can others be? If we can't be real with one another on how we feel, is the community blog worth while, or are we just "playing church".

I know there are a group of you out there that read this. Some of you may be upset at what I wrote in this post. But here are the questions that I have for you: We say we want to be real with each other, but do you mean it? Can you deal with someone being real in a blog? Can you deal with raw emotions? With frustrations, anger, disappointment, and people just trying to get something off their chest? Do we really want a place for this in our community, or not? I challenge you to think about it....and then comment publicly on it.